Baseball Season

My husband is an obsessed Yankee fan (if you couldn't tell by all of Kayla's Yankee gear) and watches the Yankees EVERY night!! I am not a fan of baseball season as there is a game on EVERY night except maybe once the whole week! So as my husband watches the Yankee game and Kayla is down for the night I don't have much to do. So I come out to the computer room and blog stalk! I read blogs of CDH babies and their families that I follow every day and then I click on one of their links to a new CDH blog and begin reading their journey- Now this wouldn't be bad but all I do is cry! It's very frustrating to me that this happens so much yet they call it very rare! So I guess I'm posting tonight because I feel awful! Kayla had, compared to other CDH babies, a fairly easy journey. I mean she was intubated for 26 days- two different vents, one chest tube, two surgeries and one day on vapo therm. Kayla's biggest feat was overcoming her fentanyl addiction. (of course after repair) But as I sat here and read some new blogs (to me anyway) and found out that a couple moms showed up to deliver and had no clue what was wrong with their baby. I couldn't imagine going into this and NOT knowing her situation. If this had to happen, I'm glad I found out 18wks gestation! Also, as I was reading, I saw many complications! ECMO for over 30 days, pnemonia (sp?), infections, on and off intubation, feeding tubes, going home with oxygen, going home w/o your baby!!!! The one thing that I can guarantee in life, that everyone will agree, is that a parent should never know the feeling of the death of a child. It's not fair and it's not right! So I guess I would just like to thank my lucky stars that Kayla had a decent ride through the NICU. She had two scares of an infection- which both turned out to be nothing, thank god! She was never re-intubated, slowly ate from the nipple every time, and didn't need ECMO- I truly did not know how lucky I was/am. The CDH monster is a tough monster and it strikes every baby differently. I have read MANY CDH blogs and have not heard the same journey once. I am very lucky to have Kayla home and well. She currently is struggling with reflux which makes her not eat so much, but I'm working on it- formula changes and what not- but as I sit here and think of how frustrated I get when I feed her and she doesn't take what I THINK she should take- I realize I need to stop worrying- let everything fall into place and live. I need to stop worrying about her reherniating, eating and breathing- it just seems all i do is worry. But after tonight- reading those blogs- I need to cherish what I have and whatever happens, happens. As far as I can tell- thanks to all the blogs that people post- is deal with it when (if) it happens and you will get through it, baby and all. I do apologize for going ON and ON... but I'm just so angry with what CDH does to a baby. Even my time at the NICU- my husband and I saw babies struggling for various reasons that I never thought about before. The 9th floor of Course Hospital in Syracuse is a whole different world. It's a sad world, but a loving, caring and life-saving world!!! It takes a special person to do what those drs, nurses and surgeons do! I thank them all and all you CDH bloggers and Kayla Blogger followers as you help me get through day to day.