"Mrs. Olmstead we need you to call the office as soon as you can."
Ummmmmm - can we say FREAK OUT!! I just found out I was having a little girl- I should be able to love and enjoy that moment.. well I did, for 16 hours and then my WHOLE world came crashing down on me.
Kate: "Hi this is Kathryn Olmstead, I just received a message...."
Nurse: "Oh yes Mrs. Olmstead, is there any chance you have time to come to the office today. Dr. -- would like to speak with you."
Kate: "Is there a chance he can talk with me over the phone?"
Nurse: "No, he would really like you to come to the office."
Kate: "Ok I will come right now."
Kate: "Mom, Dad, where are you?"
Mom and Dad: "We are on our way to Massena... what do you need?" (as they can tell I am crying!)
So my parents came to the office with me. We sat and waited for a bit, and then we were called into the office. My doctor proceeds to tell me that "the ultra sound is showing what appears to be a congenital diaphragmatic hernia." I instantly start crying- no I have no clue what this means, but I cry anyway because I know it's not good. He explains everything, and my first question was- "so she will need a ventilator at birth?"
I left the office really confused but still crying. I had my father explain it to Jerry over the phone and he thought, easy fix. He was wrong.
I went back to work, full of tears, and told all my co-workers (who are in my office) and they all tried to listen and console me.. but this was way different for them too. Jerry immediately started researching stuff on CDH. He came home and I told him NO don't tell me as I can't handle any more information right now.
Our next step was to go to Syracuse for an expert to look at my ultra sound. They verified the CDH and told me I SHOULD get an amnio. I was scared - 1. for my baby! 2. for me who does not like needles! But I did it anyway- and had to wait TWO weeks before we got the results. That was the worst two weeks of my life. (at that point!) Everything else was fine, just 50-70% chance of survival... no small deal! I proceeded to have many ultra sounds, NST's, doctors, nurses, trips to Syracuse.. and you know the rest.
I am reliving my diagnosis this month, every single day as last year at this time, I cried EVERY SINGLE DAY! There was not one day in October that I went cry free. It took me a long time to come out of depression from this diagnosis and I even had a little melt down last night from it. Just reliving how it all played out- and how I was told, what I did, how I took it.. and none of my preparation was good enough for when I actually got to the hospital and lived it. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.
Oct. 1st - ultra sound (it's a girl!!)
Oct. 2nd- appears to be CDH (ps- she may not survive!)
Oct. 9th - it's def. CDH and we recommend you get an amnio! (yikes!)
Oct. 9th-22nd - No other problems! (phew!)
Oct. 22nd-31st Just deal! (which I could not do! took me about 3 months and I didn't talk to my family for quite some time. My rents went to each appt. so they could relay info to my siblings and friends!)
ugh! Stupid October!
3 comments:
YAY!! Look how far you have come since then!!! Look at you now!! :)
I agree with Angie. Look how strong you are now! Although you'll never forget the October when you received the diagnosis, from now on you'll remember how cute Kayla was the October before. Next year you'll look at those cute pictures of her in the leaves and wonder where your little baby went!
I just came across your blog. It is so great to hear of another CDH success story.I think all of us CDH parents remember that dreadful day we first learn about CDH. At least your Doctor had you come in the office. My Doctor was a complete jerk. He called after 7pm. Told me that our son has CDH and that he needs to make this phone call quick because he has been at the office all day! We changed Doctors!
Today me little man is a very active toddler.
Amber
mommy to Owain LCDH
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