loves her big red ball

 a very rare moment... <3

 <3

 loved the easter egg hunt in mema and deda's backyard

 giving an egg to lily <3

 <3 daddy and his girls

It was a nice day had by all...and a special thanks to uncle tim for making dinner!!

The past few x-rays Kayla has had have been iffy- so our doctor wanted us to come back and have another done after she turned 2.  Unfortunately this x-ray was even worse.  Kayla will have surgery on May 5th.  Her diaphragm is stretching to a point where the stitches are coming undone.  She is growing, and the patch can't handle it.  I guess it's safe to say I don't really understand what is happening, all I know is the Doctor said she needs to have surgery because if left untouched, she will reherniate.

I was in shock when he first told us... and I wish I had a picture to show you the x-rays.  He showed us the one taken on Wednesday and the one prior to that about 6 months ago.  Her patch side diaphragm has a massive curve to it.  Her normal side has that natural curve to it, but the patch side, is looks like a sling shot thingy when you are about to shoot a rock or something at someone.  That is what the curve or rounded tip I am talking about....Her one about 6 months ago was a whole rib below the one she just got.  This patch is stretching at a crazy rate, I can only imagine how many stitches have come undone.. and when I mentioned the puking fiesta Kayla had several months back... the look on his face was the look of concern... he didn't say anything, so I am just speculating.. but I think this vomiting thing was related to this patch thing...

Anyway - Kayla's surgery will be on the 5th of May... 27 days away.  I'm extremely stressed, depressed and overwhelmed.  The thought of having to see Kayla with tubes and needles and drugs again frightens me and most certainly saddens me.  She is going to have no clue what is going on, all it will look like is that Mommy is making her get all these painful things done to her for no reason as she feels and looks just fine.

I feel absolutely helpless... The only thing I can do to make myself feel "ok-ish" is to buy her things that I think will make her comfortable in the hospital.  I plan to make her some hospital gowns- trust I'm not crafty enough to really make one, I'm just going to buy some cute nightgowns with Minnie Mouse or Dora on them, cut the back and have my mother in law sew the ribbons on for the closure in the back.  I am going to buy her some slippers, and a bunch of other things she loves.

I honestly have no clue what to do.  I don't know what to expect, and I certainly don't know how to keep a crazy girl calm so she won't rip stitches out on her tummy... So please CDH mommys and daddys if you have any ideas for me, please share them. I'm at a loss...And part of me feels like this is my fault.. this whole CDH crap.. and now my daughter has to undergo a third surgery.

I feel absolutely helpless :(

March 4th was Kayla's 2nd birthday!! Holy Guacamole!! On Friday night- we celebrated her birthday with Mema and Deda and on Saturday we invited more of Jerry's family over to celebrate with us.  There were several kids there and Kayla didn't really play with them, but she played around them or watched them play.  She isn't used to kids, and I really wish I knew how to get her there.  I want her to be excited to play with other kids... I just don't know how.  Anyway- she had a great time.  She started opening her gifts... which she really isn't in to... I had to beg her to stay with me and dive into her gifts... she kept leaving though.  She did get some great gifts from all the wonderful people at her party. However, her favorite gifts were the two bags of Cheetos!! Crazy girl!! She had a great time and I thank all who were able to come to her party!!

Her favorite part of both celebrations was when we sang happy birthday to her.  She LOVES that song apparently.  She watched a video (like 50x) of some kids singing it to one of my friends... and then she started singing it last night.. it was adorable!!

Kayla LOVES to sing and dance.  She is obsessed with music.  We now have to bring down her stereo every day for her to listen to her kid CD (another gift from her bday) ALL DAY LONG!  She loves Wheels on the Bus, ABC song (which she can sing now), and Pop Goes the Weasle.  Her favorite song to sing from a book she has is Rain Rain Go Away...if I beg she will sing the very beginning of Twinkle Twinkle, and of course added to the list of songs to sing, Kayla loves to sing Happy Birthday.. <3  When I go in her room to get her from a nap or in the morning she is always singing and when I walk in she says "take a nap" (her animals take a nap when she gets up- it was the only way I could get her to keep all of her animal friends in the crib instead of taking them all downstairs), and then she says "music"...She so cute!  Sometimes she sings jibber jabber- adorable!- but most of the time she is singing Rain Rain..

She is now to a point where she does not want to go take a nap or go night night- she throws a fit every time.. and says no, no, no, no, no.. you get my drift.  UGH! ha!  She's cute tho... she'll say "snuggle mom" or "snuggle dad"... like that will keep her up a little later.. she's right- we love to snuggle! haha :) then she'll go grab a book and say "mom reread?"... i think she's trying to say Mom will you read...but it sounds like reread.. so cute! She loves Dr. Seuss and Curious George at the moment. :)

We just had her 2 year appt today and she weighed 24lbs.. teeny tiny!  Lily weighed 18lbs.. and she's 7 months! ha This was Kayla's first appt w/o crying when she saw Dr. T.  I was sooo proud of her! Dr. T did a great job at being goofy w/ Kayla so that she started out laughing.  Kayla did cry when the nurse came to do weight and height.. she even got to stand up for both... no clothes off... crazy girl.  Lily was nuts.. completely nuts.. but thats a whole other story! :)

Kayla sounded great, looked great.. just skinny.  Dr. T said the summer was perfect for potty training.. so c'mon summer! :)